The Challenge Of Aging

“When Joshua had grown old, the Lord said to him, ‘You are now very old, and there are still very large areas of land to be taken over.'” Joshua 13:1 

  

  I would like to think I’m growing older gracefully, but I’m probably not. I complain, get frustrated, am weary of struggling with an aging body that also has numerous other issues alongside getting older. Yet, like Joshua, I sense there is more on my plate, more to do, “more land to take over.” 

  Years ago, I was in a hospital emergency room due to severe pain in my arm and shoulder, likely brought about by shoveling snow. As if it was not enough to have my body shouting at me that I was getting older by the terrible pain it was shooting through me, a very young nurse said as she was placing my arm in a sling: “You need to get a teenager to shovel your drive from now on.” 

  I thought to myself, you don't need to drive home the point that I’m getting old! 

  Our eyesight dims, our bones become fragile, our muscles weaken, our hearing diminishes, and other ailments come along like arthritis and diabetes, and pretty much anything related to a body wearing out. The normal wear and tear of aging can be a challenge for anyone, but for those of us who have other diseases and afflictions added into the mix, it seems you must become a philosopher to endure it all. 

  Thankfully, the Lord understands our challenges even better than we do, and we can call upon Him for help and strength in our weaknesses. We may face a time of aches and pains and diminished health, but our spirit need not be weak and feeble, not when we have the Lord and His word to empower us. 

  People spend millions of dollars trying to stave off the inevitable. They have skin stretched, fat removed, laser surgery on their eyes. Uncountable dollars are spent on self-help cures to try and keep from losing ground in a war with the body’s aging process. 

  We would like to think we are not old, and are not growing older. We can remember, as if it were yesterday, being young and old age seemed a million miles away. Then suddenly we look in the mirror and do not recognize the face looking back at us. We are astounded that we who were once so young are now “the old folks”. 

  We cannot prevent aging, no matter what numerous ads may say. We cannot wave a magic wand and make our illnesses, diseases, and afflictions just disappear.  

  Aging may not be easy or pretty. It presents us with a new, challenging stage of life. Yet I would encourage to look less at the outside and more at the inside, and leave a legacy of being a kind, loving, Christlike person. 

  You may find the challenge of aging daunting, and if you already face many health issues you may be especially concerned about additional health woes. I cannot promise you things will get easier as you age, but I am certain that the way to grow old is with the Lord at your side and having His grace and love guiding you. With His strength we can survive and even thrive through the aging process. 

  Prayer: Dear Lord, we wear these earthly tents and they age and grow frail. Help us to have a heart that beats for You and a Spirit strong enough to sustain us in our weakness. Amen. 

Chronic Illness And Marriage

“The man said, ‘This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called “woman,” for she was taken out of man.’ That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.” Genesis 1:23-24 

  

  Marriage takes a lot of work. It requires compromise, sacrifice, putting the needs of others before yourself. A successful marriage is built upon common beliefs, shared values and faith. True love, an abiding affection found in God, is what is needed. We would not know what real love is if not for God teaching and showing us true love through Jesus Christ. 

  My wife and I recently celebrated our 34th wedding anniversary. I do not claim to have all the answers to a good marriage, but I have some idea of what works and what doesn’t. 

  I asked God for help. 

  I give God credit for our marriage lasting so long. I know the type of woman I would have chosen on my own and we would have been divorced by now. 

  As foolish as I was at a young age, I was smart enough to ask God to help me find a good wife. I have also been smart enough to ask His help and guidance throughout our marriage. You see, I came from a home that included four marriages ending in four divorces, and the one thing I knew growing up is that I did not want a divorce–ever. 

  A mutual faith in Christ between a man and woman in love is necessary for success. And trusting in God to guide a couple throughout the challenges of marriage is of paramount importance. 

  Those who are married and struggling with illnesses have added burdens and pressures put upon their marriages, and frankly, many marriages with one or both partners who are ill do not survive those added burdens. Our marriage has been stressed to the breaking point more than once by my afflictions. It hasn’t been easy for either of us. 

  If your marriage has not survived your illness, I’m truly sorry. You are not in the minority, for even marriages without the added burden of illness often fail. Throw long term affliction into the midst of marriage and it will test your marriage beyond the breaking point. 

  Don’t blame yourself, and don’t give in to guilt.  

  What if you want to marry again? 

  God can guide you to the correct person to live your life with.  

  My wish for you is to have a loving, supportive spouse. If you are married, you will need the Lord to see you both through the marriage, especially with the added challenge of affliction. If you are unmarried and suffering affliction, do not be in a hurry to find someone and get married, because it will take a God-given mate to last through the long haul of your affliction, and it will take time to find that person. 

  A good wife or husband is a gift from God. A long marriage is a testament to God’s goodness, mercy and grace. I pray God will guide you with this very important issue and all its challenges and blessings. 

  Prayer: Dear Lord, marriage is a precious gift, help us to have a faithful marriage and strong love for one another. Amen. 

Love Covers

“Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.” 1 Peter 4:8 

  

  How do you make it? How can anyone with a serious illness survive in a cruel world, especially the cruel world of affliction? 

  How can a couple stay together when one of the partners is seriously ill, putting a constant strain and drain on a marriage? There is only one answer, the word is love. Love covers our frustrations, it covers our impatience, and our anger and disappointment. Nothing else can cover the multitude of hardships and challenges and terrible moments of affliction. 

  Sometimes you are angry, at other times it is your spouse, your child, or your parent who is angry. Affliction and its frustrations affect everyone in the household and everyone that you are regularly in contact with. There is no escaping the daily strain of illness and the webs of irritations that it spreads throughout our relationships. It is just like the scripture that says: When one part of the body is in pain, the whole body suffers (1 Corinthians 12:26). 

  And so it is with those affected by affliction. 

  If not for love. . . 

  I bet you can finish that sentence. If not for love. . . we could not forgive each other. If not for love. . . we could not accept each other. Indeed, we could not even tolerate each other. 

  Love covers. 

  Love has covered my home, healed my home, kept my relationships from falling apart.  

  The Christian religion boils down to one word: Love. Without love the Christian religion would become a harsh, intolerant mess. That is because the true faith of Christianity begins with a God of love creating, and ends with a God of love dying to save His creation. It is a circular miracle of love. It is driven by love, held together by love, uplifted by a loving Savior on a cross. Because of His love, we live, and our faith is empowered by love. 

  Christian, you may be one of those suffering affliction. Your life may be one continuous challenge. I cannot promise you it will get easier, I can only tell you that to survive affliction you will need love, a love that is born of God, and only by God’s love can you survive and thrive in the land of your affliction. 

  Prayer: Dear Lord, let Your love live in us, and through Your grace help us to live a life filled with love. Amen. 

Living With Worry And Fear

“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes?” Matthew 6:25 

  

  With illness and disability, worry itself can be a symptom of chronic illness. The constant stress, the adjustment to endless difficulties, the frustration of daily dealing with affliction, these things invite worry, fear, dread, and doubt. 

  Sometimes medication is necessary to help us with the anxiety that arises from living with chronic illness. Counseling may be helpful, finding a sympathetic ear to pour out our worries and cares from the constant tension of affliction is necessary, for no one should carry the constant stress and worry of affliction alone. 

  It adds insult to injury when on top of our illnesses and disabilities we are struck with anxiety, worry, and fear. These things can be crippling in themselves, causing us to dread leaving our house because of our limitations, and can keep us from developing friendships, from reaching out to others. 

  Our fears can imprison us, making our affliction doubly crippling. Sometimes it is anxiety, panic, and fear that are the afflictions that disable us, limit us, and keep us from living a full life. Others might believe we can merely “lift ourselves up” from such crippling feelings, but anxiety is an illness is its own right, and can do much harm. 

  Worry and fear are no strangers to those of us suffering affliction. We worry about how our illness limits us, how our affliction affects our family members. We worry whether we will ever truly be happy, if our affliction will rob us of living a “normal life”. We fear a downturn in our health, a worsening of an already intolerable situation. Fear and dread of the future based upon the hardships of today multiplies our difficulties. 

  It may be that part of your thorn in the flesh includes worry, fear, and dread. You may be living with full blown anxiety and panic attacks. Medicine and therapy can help, finding others to talk about how you are feeling can help, and pouring out our fears and concerns to God is very helpful. 

  Today you may feel overwhelmed with fear, your affliction may directly involve fear, or it may be secondary to your chronic illness, but however it arises, seek help, talk to others, see a doctor, meet with a therapist. And take your worry and fears before God in prayer seeking His help, guidance, and wisdom. But don’t suffer alone. Don’t deny yourself help when it is needed. 

  Prayer: Dear Lord, our fears seem overwhelming, our doubt and dread grows large in our minds, help us to find healing and peace for our worry weary souls. Amen. 

Did You Have A Small Victory?

“Now this I know: The Lord gives victory to his anointed. He answers him from His heavenly sanctuary with the victorious power of His right hand. Psalm 20:6 

  

  Sometimes it feels like we are stuck in a rut of disappointments. We get to the point we are expecting bad news because we have had so much bad news. Yet I don’t think the Lord wants us to stay in a state of gloomy expectations. 

  Awhile back I was struggling through several days of depression and just feeling “off” mentally. I was dreading going to see my diabetes specialist because I was unsure how much, or if my blood sugar had improved. I also suspected I had gained some weight from inactivity during the winter. To my surprise, I had not only lost some weight, my blood test showed overall improvement in my blood sugar levels. 

  Expecting bad news, instead I received good news. 

  We need to celebrate our victories. We certainly bewail our losses and difficulties. Indeed, I think we must celebrate even the small victories as they are very important to those of us who live with affliction, disease, pain and suffering. It is too easy to overlook the many victories God gives us, both small and large, and get caught up only in a mindset of focusing only upon our difficulties. 

  Perhaps you received some unexpected blessing, or maybe a family member was recently blessed. Possibly you got an unexpected visit from an old friend. Maybe the diagnosis from your doctor was not as bad as expected. Celebrate it! We are blessed in many ways, and I think when so many things go wrong in our lives, we can easily overlook or dismiss those things that do go right. 

  Today it may be that the sun is shining after several gloomy, rainy days. Perhaps someone made you your favorite meal or dessert, or took you out to eat at your favorite restaurant, or sewed you a quilt, or called you out of the blue just to let you know they care. Celebrate it! 

  What are some of the blessings that have come your way this month, this week, this day? Who in your family has been blessed of late? What surprising blessing has God brought your way lately? Perhaps it is time to look beyond the very real challenges and difficulties in our lives and start adding up the blessings, large and small. We might be surprised to find those blessing and victories add up to much evidence of God’s goodness in our lives. 

  Prayer: Dear Lord, forgive us our complaints, and help us to count up our victories instead. Help me find a victory today and celebrate it. Amen.