Chronic Illness And Marriage

“The man said, ‘This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called “woman,” for she was taken out of man.’ That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.” Genesis 1:23-24 

  

  Marriage takes a lot of work. It requires compromise, sacrifice, putting the needs of others before yourself. A successful marriage is built upon common beliefs, shared values and faith. True love, an abiding affection found in God, is what is needed. We would not know what real love is if not for God teaching and showing us true love through Jesus Christ. 

  My wife and I recently celebrated our 34th wedding anniversary. I do not claim to have all the answers to a good marriage, but I have some idea of what works and what doesn’t. 

  I asked God for help. 

  I give God credit for our marriage lasting so long. I know the type of woman I would have chosen on my own and we would have been divorced by now. 

  As foolish as I was at a young age, I was smart enough to ask God to help me find a good wife. I have also been smart enough to ask His help and guidance throughout our marriage. You see, I came from a home that included four marriages ending in four divorces, and the one thing I knew growing up is that I did not want a divorce–ever. 

  A mutual faith in Christ between a man and woman in love is necessary for success. And trusting in God to guide a couple throughout the challenges of marriage is of paramount importance. 

  Those who are married and struggling with illnesses have added burdens and pressures put upon their marriages, and frankly, many marriages with one or both partners who are ill do not survive those added burdens. Our marriage has been stressed to the breaking point more than once by my afflictions. It hasn’t been easy for either of us. 

  If your marriage has not survived your illness, I’m truly sorry. You are not in the minority, for even marriages without the added burden of illness often fail. Throw long term affliction into the midst of marriage and it will test your marriage beyond the breaking point. 

  Don’t blame yourself, and don’t give in to guilt.  

  What if you want to marry again? 

  God can guide you to the correct person to live your life with.  

  My wish for you is to have a loving, supportive spouse. If you are married, you will need the Lord to see you both through the marriage, especially with the added challenge of affliction. If you are unmarried and suffering affliction, do not be in a hurry to find someone and get married, because it will take a God-given mate to last through the long haul of your affliction, and it will take time to find that person. 

  A good wife or husband is a gift from God. A long marriage is a testament to God’s goodness, mercy and grace. I pray God will guide you with this very important issue and all its challenges and blessings. 

  Prayer: Dear Lord, marriage is a precious gift, help us to have a faithful marriage and strong love for one another. Amen.